Well tomorrow will be my last day for Internship. Seems like a pretty slow day today. I had one assignment/quote to look up. I did all my regular morning chores , and now I am sitting here contimplating leaving at around 2 pm since I am done all my hours for internship, and there really isnt anything to do here.

I will be in tomorrow though . Hopefully there will be something to do. I start my new job May 9th! next week is driving lessons and this weekend is the Canadian National Steampunk Covention in Markham.

Well 3 more weeks until I am done my internship and I can officially say I am done college! (hopefully for good) I cant wait to get my piece of paper and get on with my life in an industry that I love.

I have an interview on Monday which would start me at a decent Salary and a week after my intership will end , so I am crossing my fingers that I get it.

That is pretty much my update at the moment. I know it pretty boring , but its all I have.


Cheers!

So its been over 3 weeks since I returned from France, and I am still sort of adjusting to regular life again. I must admit , I thought I would be happy to be home. However, in some moments I miss living in a castle and not having to worry about anything except my next test. Or when I had to come down from my room to go on some excursion that was usually awesome!

So much has happened since I came back I cannot being to write all about it here. It seems like my life is just begining. Yet a lot of chapters are closing with regret and sadness. I think about how much I have changed in these past 9 years and I realize that I still have so much to do when it comes to being completely happy with myself.

Then I get this fear at the back of my head, this fear that once everything is happy then I might have it taken from me again. I sit and think that perhaps I dont deserve happiness, because everytime I thought I had it; it was gone just as fast. Like fate enjoys playing this sick joke with me. Have I not paid for my mistakes? can I not be a peace for once? or have the mistakes I made been so grave that there is no possible way to make amends?

I am not bitter or jadded about those instances of life , where I honestly feel like I have no hope. Yet I yearn for the happier times to stay more often then they actually do.

I mean realisticly there will always been some trial or tribulation I will have to face, I have come to accept that about myself and the life I lead, and what the cards have delt me , I do believe in fate and purpose , I suppose I am took weak to think that I am alone in this world . I dont consider this to be a vice, just a simplier outlook on my life both past and present. To keep me as sane as possible. I dont think my character weak , just my willingness to accept it for what it is hard.

There is no escaping it. However, there are times were I wish I was born into a life that shaped me differently, then maybe it would be easier to accept myself rather than how it is now.

3rd Semester is almost done! next stop 2 months in France and then internship! and then graduation! So I am starting with some French and German basics. Which means I have to put Japanese on the back burner for a bit.


Oh well... I managed to finally figure out when to use no, wa and ga properly when referring to myself or what I want or what I am doing... and now I have to stop.... hopefully I wont forget it.

Demo Moh Nohongo ga muzukashii!

My college friend Eriko-chan is a big help though! she is constantly correcting me, which isn't a bad thing if you actually want to learn proper grammar.

She is such a sweet heart too. Recently she was sick, so I brought her some Sen-cha from home. Hot water and everything. She said it reminded her of back home.

Last week she went to a friends wedding in Japan (Nagoya). She brought me back some Sen-cha! which was awesome since I had run out. I was so happy!





Music Update:


Music is going well, did some recordings today, and I am working on strengthening my breathing.


Driving :

I also did some driving with my sister Cate. She says I am 75 percent there. I just need more confidence.

Luckily my test is December the 8th. So I have plenty of time to practice some more. I should nail it this time around.

So I am sitting here listening to some excellent nostalgic music , and realizing that being a musician or a serious lover of music there are moments when the music of old trumps anything anyone is coming out with nowadays, and it brings back something that makes you want to smile.


Remember the song "The Last Unicorn" by America? anyone who has ever seen this fantastic movie should remember the pleasant tune. It really brings back memories of a time where you really wanted to go out and find a white mare! hoping it was that magical creature from myth and legend ; and that would show you the magic of the world. This is also around the same time period the song from the Never Ending Story came out or the music from Nemo in Dreamland. What happened to those awesome kids movies where the music was decent and written by musicians that weren't just doing it for the money?

Another song that gives me fond memories is the opening theme from Lunar: Silver Star Stories for the Play Station. Even though I am a total Japanese purist when it comes to original to dubbed, I find the song from this awesome RPG to be better in English. Such a quaint little tune!



:)

yozora o miage hitori houkiboshi o mita no
isshun de hajikete wa kiete shimatta kedo
anata no koto omou to mune ga itaku naru no
ima sugu aitai yo dakedo sora wa tobenai kara




moshi atashi ga houkiboshi ni nareta naraba
sora kakenuke tonde iku, donna
ashita ga kite mo ko no omoi wa tsuyoi
dakara houkiboshi zutto kowarenai yo



ame ga futte iyada to boyaiteita toki ni
anata ga itta koto ima demo oboeteru
ame no ato no yozora wa kirei ni hoshi ga deru
sore o kangaeru to ame mo suki ni nareru yo ne to



moshi atashi ga houkiboshi ni nareta naraba
afureru hikari furasu yo itsumo
kanashii toki yozora miru anata ga
egao ni naru youni motto kagayakitai





anata wa itsumo hitori nanika to tatakatteru
soba ni iru koto shika atashi ni wa dekinai kedo





moshi atashi ga houkiboshi ni nareta naraba
sora kakenuke tonde iku kitto
kanarazu todoku ko no isshun no hikari de
anata no IMA terashi sora o megurou
atashi ga houkiboshi ni nareta naraba
kitto soba ni ite ageru, donna toki mo


- Hoki Boshi (comet)

Well 3rd semester is here and I am about 20 days in . After a much needed one month break from the hassle and drama of post secondary education I am back at it again.

I have to admit this semester seems to me to be the most challenging, as several of my courses require math and or some component of math. So I will have to stay on top of it.

Good news is that I have lost about 25 lbs since January and I don't see myself gaining it back. I am far more active than I was last year, with LARPing and just moving around more. I suppose I just do not think about it , then it comes naturally.

It also looks like my cough is pretty much gone, which means I can look forward to some nice recording and music time.

I am going to make an attempt at getting my G1 again since I want a car at some point in my life.

Well that is pretty much it

Ciao

Sometimes I feel like nothing is there
inside my heart inside my head

I look around and see everything before me
yet id rather have nothing
I want to run away with my feelings

I do not want to accept my destiny
I do not want to accept that you have gone away from me

What I want I cant have
what you did to me makes me cry

I want to sit in silence with you
arms wrapped around me like you used to
numb to the world around me
numb to the pain inside me
Floating forever in peace
as you help me pick up the pieces of my shattered world.

Today I am not feeling so great. Its this cold weather in May. I hate it.
I am also suffering with a post LARP cough. As much as I enjoy it, I dread the end because I almost always feel sick. Could it be withdrawal? who knows.

Im also not feeling very cheerful this afternoon. I just dont feel like doing anything... nothing. Just sit around and do nothing. How incredibly boring.

Oh well.

Ja ne!

So first semester is done! and into second semester I go! Wish me luck?

First semester was fun! I can't wait to start my project in selling destinations 2. If you didn't guess I would choose Japan then you don't know me very well :P Luckily I have been there before so at the very least I have a rough idea on were to start.

They are only giving me 20 minutes to talk about it. Only 20! yeeshh! I could talk about it for days and weeks, and still have more to say!

LARPing was awesome this weekend. I really appreciate the people who LARP with me . RAVEN LARP is awesome, misfits unite! Come play in our sandbox and we will make you feel welcome :)

Been working on some music , I managed to do 2 really good recordings of Tell me what the Rain knows from Wolf's Rain, and I will always love you from TRC . I wish I had someone who could appreciate it with me. I miss that passion. Oh well.